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Festivals after 50 | A beginners guide to survival

There comes a time, somewhere between 45 and 55, when even for the most domesticated of Rock fan the lure of the festival once more takes hold. If you have kids, they’re most likely old enough to look after themselves for a long weekend. Or be elsewhere at a different festival altogether (which they will insist is WAY cooler). You’ve checked out the price for hiring a campervan and carefully filed those thoughts away in a folder marked “Holy F*** How Much!!??) and decide to go full “reliving your youth mode” and get camping tickets.

This will almost certainly mean you will die, or wish you had. Let me keep you alive.

Get a decent airbed.

Don’t go for a cheap one, you will regret it and probably not be able to work for the rest of the year.

Take old, comfortable clothes.

As if you’d be stupid enough to wear brand new camo cargo shorts that rip your inner-thigh to pieces so you have to wear your wife’s tie-dye leggings for the rest of the weekend.

Take a comfortable folding chair.

I don’t care that you automatically give your age away by doing so, when there’s a gap between bands SIT THE F*** DOWN. Failure to follow this most vital piece of advice will mean you will have to…

..take drugs.

Lots of drugs. Enough for four days (you’ll need them for the drive home too). Paracetamol for the pain, and Ibuprofen (or similar) for the inflammation.

Most controversially; take a porta-potty.

At our age, we can’t hold it in like the youngsters, and if we do it will only cause future problems. Late-night runs to the festival porta-loos have far too many dangers with errant guy-ropes and other obstacles, and you can’t even consider pitching near the toilets because we’re old and cranky.

Chargers.

Take many power banks and chargers. Everything you own needs recharging. Probably even food and wet-wipes.

Ah, wet wipes.

Don’t make me list the reasons why.

Beer.

One of the issues with being 50+ is constantly wanting to complain about the bar prices at venues in general, and festivals in particular, so take lots of your own beer. If your festival of choice would rather you didn’t, get creative. Perfect excuse to buy a camping trolley to transport all the trays of ale, along with the tent, airbed, and porta-potty. You only need to live to 75 and do two festivals a year to make back the outlay.

On the subject of ale, pace yourself.

You are not 22 anymore, and starting on the San Miguel at breakfast only means you will not see the headliner. Or the second on the bill. Or lunchtime.

Have fun, enjoy the music, and trust me on the sunscreen.

James

Do you have a funny festival story to share? Drop us a line!

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Metal Digest is an online music magazine specializing in rock and metal. It is aimed at the mobile market, who can get their fix whilst on the go. Whether you walk, drive, fly, sail or teleport make sure you do it with Metal Digest, bitesize heavy metal rock and metal news, reviews and interviews for when you’re on the go.

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