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Heavy Metal Therapy | The Sound of Silence

Ah silence – it’s golden . . .right? So why do we insist on filling them? What’s so uncomfortable about them? Often, we’re uncomfortable with silences so we feel the need to say something, anything and sometimes it’s not needed.

We are sociable beings (supposedly anyway in terms of evolution etc) and we have a social contract in terms of language and when we talk with others.

I say something – you listen and then wait for me to stop speaking and then you say something. You may nod or make ‘um hum’ noises while I’m talking as part of that contract to show me, you’re paying attention. So, what about when I say something big or upsetting? I might want you to say something, need you to say something but sometimes I might just sit there in silence and that’s when the panic might set in – what do you say? You must say something! Quick! Anything!

There’s an interesting concept by Bion about Containment and he says that for some the offloading to another and the other person just holding that for them is enough. Silences are against that social contract somehow though so we don’t like them, and we might feel the need to fill them to stop our discomfort but it’s not about us, it’s about the other person. Sometimes they need a minute to decide what to say next or to just let what’s been said hang there.  Sometimes just sitting with the person and what’s been said is just what’s needed.


Metal Digest is hosting a monthly Mental Health Focus column with Heavy Metal Therapy.

Our goal and aspiration is to post our stories, educate, share resources, encourage our readers to talk about mental health, and most importantly create a community bound with the sounds of heavy metal, so that we are all, less alone.

We will keep the conversation going and we will be sharing interviews, playlists, articles and resources so stay tuned for more!

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Metal Digest is an online music magazine specializing in rock and metal. It is aimed at the mobile market, who can get their fix whilst on the go. Whether you walk, drive, fly, sail or teleport make sure you do it with Metal Digest, bitesize heavy metal rock and metal news, reviews and interviews for when you’re on the go.

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